Evidence
We spent our 29th Anniversary weekend at the Lake Qunault Lodge in the Olympic National Forest. The lodge was built in 1926 and in 1937 President Franklin Delano Roosevelt visited the lodge. The dining room then became known as “The Roosevelt Room” ever since. The menu of what was served that day for dinner is posted outside of “The Roosevelt Room.” There didn’t appear to be choices, it looked like a menu from a traditional supper club with the side dish being a gelatin vegetable ring and cottage cheese.
Although the rooms are not at all luxurious by today’s modern expectations, the lodge itself is beautifully kept. There is no cell phone service in the area and there are no televisions in the rooms. There are in the rooms the old radiators that creak and rattle all night. The community area is spacious and inviting for what I imagine would have been typically a place to congregate in the evenings or on rainy days to keep dry and socialize by the enormous fireplace that was never without a fire while we were there. Reminiscent of an era that we literally watched evaporate in our lifetime with the advent of social media. And although there is no television nor cell phone service in any of the rooms nor in any of the community areas, there is wi-fi. It’s a wonderful place to bring the kids to experience “what was” and the natural beauty of the Olympic National Forest. Leave the social media devices behind if you dare.
You’re probably thinking by now, what do I mean by “evidence?”
I had listened to a podcast of a business coach talking about documenting evidence of progress, her thought process was that – in business – you set some pretty lofty goals and it’s easy to not reach those goals when you don’t really see any evidence of progressing toward those goals. In effect, make a log of those instances that you can identify as ‘evidence’ that you are actually moving in the right direction.
There is a good bit of time to talk while driving to the Olympic National Forest and on our 29 year anniversary, what would be a good idea to discuss? We do have a business together and we do discuss how to progress with that, but what about our marriage? We are together, we are very content in our relationship and yet we hear about others that divorce well past 35 years. So on our drive back I asked my husband, “what evidence did you find that we would remain married another year?” He thought it sounded like a silly question, probably because he didn’t listen to the same podcast. Being me, I prodded for some kind of answer by telling him the small details that I noticed when things were done in for the sake of the other and with gratitude and kindness.
It would be easy to just be stubborn and comfortable by neglecting one another’s needs and desires, just being selfish while still complaining of the same old same old, knowing that it’s cheaper in the long run to stay married and miserable, content without effort. It is complicated to be assertive and aware, facing new challenges together, appreciating old ideas with new gratitude and fresh thoughtfulness. As we get older and wiser we also become forgetful and lazy.
So here’s to another year, 29 in and 29 to go!
